when you feel like you’re failing,

mama, you’re not

If there’s one thing that I wish I was warned about before I became a mom, it’s the feeling that I’m failing.  It’s feeling like regardless of how much I try to do, I could be doing more.  It’s the feeling that I’m not enough.  It’s the false thought that creeps in the moment we become mothers.  You feel like you’re not spending enough time with your kids or you feel like you might be smothering them. You feel like you have lost control of the house and the chores or you feel like the house is taking control of you. You feel like you’re not excelling at work or you feel like you’re working too much. You wish you were doing better, more, faster, stronger, more organized, more in control. 

First of all, rest assured, we all do it. It’s an epidemic actually. But mamas, it isn’t right. The thought that you are not enough is not beneficial in any way. It’s not one of those things that can be useful in small doses – it’s completely useless. Harmful actually. As a matter of fact, a wonderful author, speaker and researcher named Brene Brown says that this feeling of not being enough is the very thing holding us back from realizing that we are.  It’s just a feeling.  It isn’t reality.  And it isn’t true. 


Mama, your job is demanding. And to the standards we sometimes set up for motherhood, the job becomes IMPOSSIBLE. Please process that – when you feel like you’re not enough, what you’re trying to measure up to is unattainable. Now, I dunno too much about business but I do know that setting realistic goals is a really important step in achieving them. Our goals cannot be to maintain a tidy, organized home while staying in great shape while succeeding at work while raising little ones – and all with a big smile on our face. Parenting is hard mama. It’s super hard. And the varieties of challenges that come up out of nowhere are mind blowing. The fear that you’re not doing all you should. The anxiety that something could be wrong. The injustice in having to do so much. The loneliness in feeling that nobody understands. The doubt in your mothering skills and decisions. 

Listen mama. If you wake up in the morning and give your kids a hug, you are enough. If you keep them fed and safe, you are enough. If you struggle with balancing work and play and organizing and finances and relationships and it seems that everything is falling down, YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are more than enough. You are not failing. You are working hard. You are making informed, deliberate decisions. You are constantly learning to do better. You are doing great! Please let that sink in a bit. You are doing GREAT. Take your life and look at it without you in it. Your family cannot function without you. You are the glue, mama. The engine. The heart. You are enough.