when you feel like you’re failing,
mama, you’re not
If there’s one thing that I wish I was warned about before I became a mom, it’s the feeling that I’m failing. It’s feeling like regardless of how much I try to do, I could be doing more. It’s the feeling that I’m not enough. It’s the false thought that creeps in the moment we become mothers. You feel like you’re not spending enough time with your kids or you feel like you might be smothering them. You feel like you have lost control of the house and the chores or you feel like the house is taking control of you. You feel like you’re not excelling at work or you feel like you’re working too much. You wish you were doing better, more, faster, stronger, more organized, more in control.
First of all, rest assured, we all do it. It’s an epidemic actually. But mamas, it isn’t right. The thought that you are not enough is not beneficial in any way. It’s not one of those things that can be useful in small doses – it’s completely useless. Harmful actually. As a matter of fact, a wonderful author, speaker and researcher named Brene Brown says that this feeling of not being enough is the very thing holding us back from realizing that we are. It’s just a feeling. It isn’t reality. And it isn’t true.

Mama, your job is demanding. And to the standards we sometimes set up for motherhood, the job becomes IMPOSSIBLE. Please process that – when you feel like you’re not enough, what you’re trying to measure up to is unattainable. Now, I dunno too much about business but I do know that setting realistic goals is a really important step in achieving them. Our goals cannot be to maintain a tidy, organized home while staying in great shape while succeeding at work while raising little ones – and all with a big smile on our face. Parenting is hard mama. It’s super hard. And the varieties of challenges that come up out of nowhere are mind blowing. The fear that you’re not doing all you should. The anxiety that something could be wrong. The injustice in having to do so much. The loneliness in feeling that nobody understands. The doubt in your mothering skills and decisions.

Listen mama. If you wake up in the morning and give your kids a hug, you are enough. If you keep them fed and safe, you are enough. If you struggle with balancing work and play and organizing and finances and relationships and it seems that everything is falling down, YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are more than enough. You are not failing. You are working hard. You are making informed, deliberate decisions. You are constantly learning to do better. You are doing great! Please let that sink in a bit. You are doing GREAT. Take your life and look at it without you in it. Your family cannot function without you. You are the glue, mama. The engine. The heart. You are enough.
I really enjoyed your article. It’s not often I get to read article that grab my attention like yours. Thanks.
I’m so happy you enjoyed it!
I am not a mama but I found it encouraging for all..
I always feel guilty that I didn’t get it all done. Powerful article. Thank you for the words. Your Enough!
Mom guilt sucks. So glad you liked the post!
Loved this post, very encouraging especially for new moms. Thanks for sharing
Happy you loved it! You got this mama!
This is amazing! Encouraging other moms and reminding them that they are enough and to do what they can is great! Loving the support!
So glad and humbled that you found it helpful Anitra! Thanks for your comment.
It’s so sad how much pressure we put on ourselves to be more and do more. Motherhood is not about perfectionism but we expect it. Gotta embrace the journey.
Totally agree Mamie! Thanks for sharing.
This was very beautifully written. I don’t have children but I can imagine that being a mother is the hardest job in the world and sometimes you feel very overwhelmed.
I really needed to hear this. Parenting can be so tough, I work so hard for my kiddo, and sometimes it just feels like I can never get it right. But my son is happy, healthy, and full of love, so I must be hitting the mark somewhere. ?
I totally relate to that feeling… the one of not getting it right and the one that I must be doing something right. Parenthood really knocks you off your feet sometimes (a lot of times) but also makes your heart so so full.
This is great! It’s always good to hear you’re doing ok!
Definitely going to share this with mom’s! I am not a mom – just a dog mom haha
I love this so much. Moms need more encouragement. Momming is hard.
It sure is Cyndi lol
I really love this post! I’ve had those exact thoughts and it IS harmful like you stated. At the time I didn’t know and I’ve definitely set unrealistic expectations in motherhood. You live and you learn right ?! Thanks for the reminder mama♥️
Thanks so much for your comment Ashley and I’m so glad you found it useful.
Such important reminder. Thank you for this!
I love this one! I am not a mom myself yet, but I found it encouraging for everyone!
Loved reading this. Really enjoyed.
Amazing blog post all the mama out there should read!
I feel you. Most of the time I have this feeling, but I pray and try to be better everyday with my kids .
Absolutely. Thanks for the comment Elizabeth.
This is a great post! Thank you
We all feel like this at times. Parenting is tough but we are all trying our best!
Such important reminders! Mamas are amazing and we all deserve a little grace once in awhile. I know I am guilty of this and need to remember how blessed I am. Thanks for sharing this!
Glad it helped! Thanks for your comment.
Love this! Moms really need to hear this one!